By Carl Hiaasen
As soon as a hotshot investigative reporter, Jack Tagger now bangs out obituaries for a South Florida day-by-day, "plotting to resurrect my newspaper occupation by means of yoking my byline to a few well-known stiff." Jimmy Stoma, the notorious entrance guy of Jimmy and the Slut doggies, useless in a fishy-smelling scuba "accident," may be the stiff of Jack's dreams--if purely he can work out what happened.
Standing within the manner are (among others) his formidable younger editor, who hasn't but fired a person yet plans to "break her cherry" on Jack; the rock star's pop-singer widow, who's utilizing the get together of her husband's dying to re-launch her personal occupation; and the soulless, profit-hungry proprietor of the newspaper, whom Jack as soon as publicly humiliated at a stockholders' meeting.
With clues from the lifeless rock singer's track, Jack eventually unravels Jimmy Stoma's unusual fate--in a hilariously hard-won triumph for muckraking journalism, and for the death-obsessed obituary author himself.
"Always be midway prepared" is Jack Tagger's motto--and it's good enough to assure a wickedly humorous, brilliantly unique novel from Carl Hiaasen
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If the rattlesnakes, scorpions, and cactus didn't get you in those old days, it was likely the weather would. One pioneer wrote back East, "Don't come to Texas. The weather is awful. Yesterday I was driving to town and one of my oxen died from sunstroke. " <><><><><><><><><><><><> Wind was, and is, a constant in most of Texas. An early Texas wind vane was described as a logging chain tied to the top of a post. One looked to see which direction the chain was blowing. It was considered a strong wind only if the links of the chain snapped off the end.
One source called them "a congress of rounders" who arrived from places like Screamerville, Hyena Hollow, and Toe Nail. A local publication said, "If a member is too drunk to rise from his seat to speak, the chair shall appoint a committee of three to hold him up. " Page 19 <><><><><><><><><><><><> A hundred years ago there were still bears in the Texas woods, and bear hunting was a popular pastime, both for sport and for meat. Two townsmen decided to go bear hunting, but they only had one gun between them.
Some who are naturally funny work at it, too. Then there are some who seem to inherit their wit. Take my wife. ") Like her father, who was one of the funniest people in the world, Doris has a finely honed sense of the subtle line that goes right to the heart of a matter. One night when we both had the Big Eye, and neither wanted to disturb the other one, I made a noise that indi- Page 25 cated I was awake. " Then there was the morning she stood staring at a closet full of clothes trying to decide what to wear to work.