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Download Gus Openshaw's Whale Killing Journal by Keith Thomson PDF

By Keith Thomson

Moby Dick for the weblog iteration.

Cat nutrition cannery employee Gus Openshaw has one aim in existence: to kill a whale. not only any whale, yet an enormous, blubbery whale that ate his spouse, baby, and arm in the course of a vicious and unprovoked assault.

With a rickety boat and a seriously restrictive whale-hunting license, Gus units out to precise his revenge. alongside the best way, Gus retains a web magazine - a web publication - to maintain the realm proficient approximately his misfit group, his clashes with pirates, his near-fatal incarceration, and his infatuation with a undeniable island princess.

Complete with stunning scrimshaw illustrations, Gus Openshaw's Whale-Killing magazine is the hilarious documentation of 1 man's obsessive pursuit of a big whale that may make Captain Ahab proud.

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Extra resources for Gus Openshaw's Whale Killing Journal

Sample text

2. Needless to say, the blubbery bastard and his pod got away. 3. We were taken to a tiny desolate island and tossed inside a dungeon built four hundred years or so ago by the Spaniards as a place to let prisoners, if they were fortunate, get nibbled to death by vermin. 4. Our jailers are the same guys who pulled us over in the cop boat and confiscated the yacht and all of our possessions as contraband (in other words, they’ll fence it). They did let me keep the computer though—one of them, as it happens, is a fan of this blog.

A few seconds later, the engines bubbled to life again and we were back on our bastardward course. Sometimes, it’s just good to talk stuff out. S. Here’s a scrimshaw of Thesaurus. Wednesday, 23 June 2004 4:44 PM Meet Dickhead “Thar two she’s blow,” cried Stupid George from the bow. We were about three miles east of Venezuela. Ahead, a couple whales were frolicking at the surface. But neither more than forty tons—shrimps compared to the blubbery bastard. All of a sudden something—a speeding train, it seemed— slammed into the starboard part of our hull, knocking the whole brig to port.

One guy had one of those things that fires grenades. He held it an inch from Stupid George. “Give us the bag or we’ll spill his head,” the pirate shouted down to us. He meant my duffel bag and, more exactly, the $8,000,000 in it. Our counter: We’d take George back if they paid us $1,000, plus picked up our bar and tart tab for the week. Now you might be thinking: Openshaw, man, it’s just cash, give it up, you still got a boat, you can go after your whale— that’s what it’s all about! But there was no way either team was going anywhere till the deck was red with a significant portion of the other team’s blood.

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