By Paul Kivel
Sexual harassment, baby abuse, incest, rape, homicide, war--it's most unlikely this present day to listen to a information file and never be told of violent acts perpetrated by way of males. Acknowledging that there aren't any effortless solutions to the matter of male violence--particularly in a global that turns out to thrive on aggression and actual force--Men's paintings reaches immediately to its root explanations. In his ground-breaking paintings, writer Paul Kivel is helping males confront the political, social, and private forces that generate and gift misogyny, hatred, anger, and violent habit. Combining years of non-public examine and mirrored image together with his paintings with males within the Oakland Men's undertaking, Men's paintings provides an cutting edge and plausible method of preventing male violence. Kivel exhibits males find out how to reclaim the facility and accountability had to unlearn the teachings of keep watch over and aggression. Paul Kivel is a nationally identified specialist on men's concerns. via his paintings on the Oakland Men's undertaking, he is helping males confront and alter violent behaviors and teaches choices to violence of their relationships. He additionally trains lecturers, therapists, probation officials, and supplier employees who paintings with males, exploring such themes as male/female relationships, possible choices to violence, relations violence, and sexual attack. Kivel is living in Oakland, California.
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Extra info for Men's Work: How to Stop the Violence That Tears Our Lives Apart
Example text
But there's no need for me to force him to learnand it doesn't seem to work anyway. My support will enable him to make choices and evaluate the consequences of those choices early in life, when the stakes aren't high. I'm trying to let go of the sense of desperation I carry into this relationshipthe feeling that if I don't teach him now, immediately, he will grow up to be a failure. I know he needs to make mistakes and learn from them. I am practicing letting go of the need to force him to learn, and letting go of being society's enforcer of homework and other expectations or roles thrust on him.
But I don't even know what I'd say to her if I could talk. Before, she was the one who asked for words. But I built this house, provided for her and our children, worked hard in my business to become a man in my and everyone else's eyes. * Sometimes I would like to know how much I'm like my father. My identity as a man different from him was a major preoccupation during my teenage years and early adult life. But occasionally I find myself making some physical gesture that reminds me of him, and I wonder if he felt as I do when making that gesture.
It certainly addresses men who are doing the work of trying to be less angry and violent. More broadly, this book is based on the assumption that we all have a role to play in stopping men's violence. Women are not responsible for male violence, but there are many things that women, as teachers, co-workers, managers, government officials, friends, lovers, and mothers, can do that make a difference. This book looks at different ways to challenge male violence. I have assumed that because violence is so built into our lives, we are constantly faced with the opportunity to confront it, subvert it, heal from it, and take whatever steps possible to stop it.