By Frank Lesser
An Emmy Award-winning author for The Colbert Report follows within the (big) footsteps of Bigfoot: I now not Dead.
Monsters have it difficult. in addition to being deeply misunderstood, they be afflicted by very actual difficulties: Mummies have physique picture concerns, Godzilla goes via an existential drawback, and creatures from the black lagoon face discrimination from creatures from the white lagoon. At center, those monsters are human; in spite of everything, you're what you consume. Quirkily illustrated, Sad Monsters hilariously records the rigors and tribulations of the entire undead creatures monster-mad readers have grown to like, from vampires and werewolves, to chupacabras and sphinxes, or even claw-footed bathtubs.
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Extra info for Sad Monsters: Growling on the Outside, Crying on the Inside
Sample text
Why is Tom wasting his days in a car- 38 THEN WE CAME TO THE END peted office trying to hide the coffee stain on his khakis? How is he any better than Pilot Bob? Unfortunately, I don’t think I am any better. I’m not studying the external world. What I’m doing is trying to generate a buck for a client so as to generate a quarter for us so that I can generate a nickel for me and have a penny left over after Barbara gets what the court demands. For that reason I love my job and never want to lose it, so I hope no one reading this finds me smug or ungrateful.
No, I came up with it,” said Karen. Lynn’s face, which had aged into the early years of her forties with little modification of her cool detached beauty, was architecturally designed for such outrageous confessions. Her high cheekbones kept her eyes buttressed from the collapse of a disbelieving brow, her nearly crow’s-feet-free eyes never gave way to an offputting squint, and her mouth, flanked on both sides by a single parenthesis of a gently etched laugh line, remained in perfect equipoise when presented with revelations that would have provoked in lesser professionals fallen jaws of slackened disgust or a steady stream of rebuke.
She ain’t nothin’ but a bureaucrat. ’ ‘Ten-fifteen in the morning,’ she says. ‘You took lunch at, what? ’ Then she points at the buckshelves and she says, ‘And I guess all these bucks just appeared when you came back from lunch, too, huh? ’ And I don’t say anything, and she says, ‘And what about the nice chair you’re sitting on? ’ And I don’t say anything, and she says, ‘I’ll be back after I’ve had a chance to crosscheck your serial numbers. I would suggest that if those are Tom’s buckshelves you have them back in his office pronto.