Humor

Download So You're 60 by Mike Haskins and Clive Whichelow PDF

By Mike Haskins and Clive Whichelow

Overlook the parable that you will be a type of elder statesperson to the remainder of the kin. Your existence will now encompass slumbering in the course of intercourse rather than after it, and going to extra funerals than weddings. you are going to bend all the way down to contact your ft after which put out of your mind what you went down there for. at the plus part, you could look ahead to getting your individual stair-lift, and will now break out with making no attempt whatever to drop extra pounds. And all these charities you gave to - it really is payback time!

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46 NOW YOU’RE 60 THE FOLLOWING WILL BE YOUR NATURAL ENEMIES Stairs Food you have to chew Small print The TV and video tuning menus People with no manners Your own body 47 A LIST OF CONTROVERSIAL OPINIONS YOU WILL NOW BE EXPECTED TO HOLD Music went down the flusher when The Beatles started in my humble opinion. There are no gay animals in the wild. You should only have a ring through your nose if you’re a pig. ’ = ‘There’s a good takeaway nearby. ’ 60 THINGS YOU’LL FEEL SMUG ABOUT Having all your own hair 61 Having all your own teeth Being able to tell youngsters you actually remember the 60s (even though you can’t remember what happened yesterday) Watching young people make the same mistakes you made and doing nothing to stop them 62 Having a no-claims bonus record that predates the birth of the person you deal with at the insurance company Having seen every single episode of Coronation Street since it began Going to a funeral and coming home again afterwards 63 HOORAY!

In a way it’s a blessing that smoking shortens your life a bit. Think of the money that will save you. 43 So all in all as a sixty-year-old, the combined cost of ruining your health with booze and fags and perhaps ruining your sanity by having a family could have amounted to £725,377. Wouldn’t it be terrible if the bill for all of this appeared in your letterbox tomorrow? 44 PEOPLE WHO ACHIEVED GREAT THINGS AFTER THE AGE OF 60 Winston Churchill was 65 when he became wartime leader. John Wayne didn’t get his first Oscar until the age of 62.

In a way it’s a blessing that smoking shortens your life a bit. Think of the money that will save you. 43 So all in all as a sixty-year-old, the combined cost of ruining your health with booze and fags and perhaps ruining your sanity by having a family could have amounted to £725,377. Wouldn’t it be terrible if the bill for all of this appeared in your letterbox tomorrow? 44 PEOPLE WHO ACHIEVED GREAT THINGS AFTER THE AGE OF 60 Winston Churchill was 65 when he became wartime leader. John Wayne didn’t get his first Oscar until the age of 62.

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